Friday, April 9, 2010

ok, so I am going to just vent...
I am sorry to any of you who actually read this,
its not pretty...

I have had the worst fucking 2 days.
Andy and I have been in non-agreement and continual argument.

So today, after a stupid, obsolete arguement, he decided that he was going to leave.
Playing mental games the whole time.
And then he continued to say how hard it was (even though all he had to do was pack a bag and go, which he didn't do),
but in reality, I am the one who would have been left to clean up, take care of what he left (if he actually had gone), take care of the dogs (one of which is "technically" his) and find a new place to live with the 2 dogs (not an easy or cheap task in this neck of the woods).
So what the fuck!
I'm sorry, but this is bullshit.
I have spent the morning crying and being upset, but now I am just pissed.
He still hasn't technically left (he has threatened this before when he gets upset),
he went to work for a couple of hours and I still don't know what is going on....
However, he felt the need this morning to change his relationship status on facebook to SINGLE.
Again, bullshit!
How immature that he feels the need to change something on a completely obsolete site so all of our friends can see before the fight was even close to being over!
I am so mad I don't even know what to say or do.
It always starts out simple and small and expands into a gigantic black hole.
I am not even close to perfect,
I am probably as mental as they come,
but what the hell!?!
I don't know what is going on,
or what to do.
And feel like I want to scream.
I do know that I don't need this,
or to look like the crazy, controlling girlfriend...
(which I am not)

Again I am sorry if you have read this.
I am sorry for the language.
But it had to come out somewhere.
Typically I don't like talking about this kind of situation much.
I don't usually put this crappy burden on friends,
but I just needed to vent.


  1. i just want to give you a hug Brittan! for your honesty and for knowing what it's like to have "been there."

    I hope things are better now... i know what it's like to fight about something SO silly that later you're stuck in a rage wondering what it was that you were fighting about in the first place.

    venting is good and helps, so i'm here to listen if you need. (i always cry when i'm upset and it helps me feel better, along with music and a glass of wine)

    HUGS TO YOU!!! i pray you are better dear friend. XO

  2. I think we have all been there! I am so sorry you are sad and angry. I hope you are feeling a bit better now too. Time usually helps your brain and heart to work things out. Feel free to vent all you like, even email me if you feel like it. I guess sometimes it can help to chat to an impartial outsider.
    Take care, hope things ge better.

  3. oh these words are thoughts in my head right now. Josh & I are constantly fighting like this right now. And I seriously get so frustrated I want to scream & throw things. I want to say seriously, grow the fuck up. Boys can be assholes. and it is so legit to feel how you feel. if you need to vent more you can email me.

  4. thank you for your understanding and support ladies... I still don't know what is going on. And actually I am not sure I want to even do this anymore if it is going to be like this. arg, it is soooo upsetting and frustrating! But seriously, thanks for your love! it really means alot!

  5. I'm so sorry Brittan, and if I was there, I'd bear hug you so big. Men can be complete jerks, and impossible to communicate with at times.

    There is one thing in particular that comes up every now and then with Chris, and I think it's so petty, but he can't seem to let it go, and I swear when he brings it up, I want to go stay with my dad until it blows over. It really sucks that little things can turn into big things and come into a relationship the way they do.

    I hope you guys are able to work it out, and I'm sorry this happened :( Love you, friend.

  6. oh, my friend...we all understand...everybody goes through it sooner or later....

    you have so been there for me..i want to be there for you..hang it...give it time...hopefully, it will will pass eventually..but when you are "in it" you think it never will..

    i hope it works out the way you want it too....